


HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T

by PunishedPyotr, roobyfruitjungle



Series: The Self-Indulgent XX Chromosome AU [5]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Drunk Sex, Frottage, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mantis nearly gets his dick bit off, Menstrual Sex, Menstruation, Mood Swings, Past Rape/Non-con, eating disorder mention, pregnancy mention, well. they try to anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 16:41:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20585681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunishedPyotr/pseuds/PunishedPyotr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/roobyfruitjungle/pseuds/roobyfruitjungle
Summary: “You can’t keep demanding physical affection and then rejecting it once you get it, you know."





	HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T

Of course after all that Mantis had to stick around with Liquid in the Middle East still. Frankly Liquid’s reasons for staying here were completely incomprehensible even though Mantis could read minds; at this point he just didn’t bother questioning it anymore and figured it didn’t matter as long as he could still keep an eye on him. Liquid’s disordered ass couldn’t be trusted to take care of himself and eat regularly. Mantis had to fucking nanny him. Liquid hated him for it.

The climate, though, was the worst part. The unrelenting heat sapped Mantis’ energy and he found himself unable to make it through the entire day without taking at least one nap - especially at the hottest parts of the afternoon. This left Liquid to his own devices and was probably the only thing keeping the peace between them anymore. Mantis just had to remind himself that he was more worried about what Liquid _wasn’t_ doing than what he _was_, and it wasn’t like Liquid was going to relapse on his eating disorder in two hours of mid-day nap time.

Apparently because Mantis took naps and Liquid didn’t, that meant that Liquid was entitled to interrupting Mantis’ sleep at _night_.

By this point Mantis was used to being awoken by a distressed Liquid during the early hours of the morning, more often than not. While Liquid's general mental state had indeed improved a bit (though Mantis would have never admitted this), he still suffered from horrifically paralyzing nightmares leaving Mantis to deal with his shivering and hyperventilating self every time, picking up after the mess in his mind, despite him insisting that he would be able to handle this anxiety on his own just fine.

Being dragged out of his sleep tonight was different than usual, though — instead of pained whimpers and that familiar overwhelming fear he was grabbed by his shoulders and shaken awake quite rudely.

Mantis blinked a few times, adjusting his eyes to the dim moonlight that was forcing itself through the blinds of their hotel room, only to be faced with Liquid crouching right on top of him, brows creased in pain and irritation.

"...Eli?"

“Mantis, I- I’m—“ Liquid stumbled over his words, white-knuckling Mantis’ shirt. “I’m dying.”

“What?”

“My, my body is broken. I’m dying…! Mantis…”

Mantis sat up, gripped Liquid’s shoulders, and gently pushed him off his lap. Liquid bared his teeth at him doing so. Mantis looked down and saw spots of blood on the bottom hem of his shirt where Liquid had just been.

He was alarmed for a moment — then extremely unamused.

“You’re not actually hurt,” Mantis said flatly.

“Yes, I am!”

“Oh my god.”

"Mantis, please—“ Liquid growled, somehow managing to make his pathetic sobs sound threatening.

Uncomfortably reminded of the very _first_ time this had happened, Mantis sighed in irritation and let his head drop back on his pillow.

"It's just your period, Eli. Now get off my bed, it's way too hot to share tonight."

Liquid whined again and uselessly pawed at Mantis’ shirt, pointedly ignoring his request.

"You don't understand! I'm not- it's not supposed to happen anymore!" At this rate Mantis was absolutely going to use his powers to kick his friend off the bed. “I’ve been taking my medicine regularly, I swear! I must be sick or s-something!"

"Eli-"

Liquid's eyes widened. "Maybe it's still from when I- oh god—! What if-"

“If you were pregnant you would have _already_ _given birth_ by now, for Christ’s sake. Don’t even start with that.”

“M-Maybe it’s just late and now I’m—“

“No. That is not how it works. You know that, you are just panicking over nothing.”

Liquid shook his head frantically. “But I haven’t had my period in _years!_”

“This is the first time in years you’ve been healthy enough to have it…” Mantis got up, taking off his shirt to go rinse it in cold water before the stain set. He wanted to tell Liquid to do the same with his pants and underwear, because they undoubtedly needed it (and perhaps his sheets did too), but knew he wouldn’t be getting through to him right now. “If anything, Eli, this is a good thing.”

“No it’s not!! It’s not supposed to happen anymore, anyway!”

“If you wanted what was ‘supposed to happen’ then you should have seen a real doctor about it,” Mantis snapped.

Liquid winced. They’d already had this conversation plenty of times - how he should have stayed in the UK for his medical care instead of relocating to a part of the world that would just as soon call him a lesbian and throw him off a building.

Mantis needed a drink. Or two. Maybe if he managed to calm Liquid down enough he would be able to sneak out the bottle of vodka that was wrapped snuggly at the bottom of his bag.

"Listen," he took a deep breath while holding his stained shirt under the sink, Liquid having followed him to the bathroom to lurk in the doorframe. "We shouldn't argue - it is late and you definitely need a shower, or at least a proper wash before going back to bed."

Liquid made a small upset noise, but did not verbally refuse yet.

Mantis wrung out the shirt and hung it over the open door to dry, watching Liquid carefully. The man looked absolutely miserable.

"Alright?" he tried.

Liquid looked away but nodded meekly. "But-"

Mantis groaned. "But _what_, Eli?"

"I- I don't want to sleep by myself... I'm in pain and—“

_Figures_, Mantis thought. “Fine,” he said. “Go shower. I’ll take care of your clothes and sheets.”

Finally Liquid had the temerity to be embarrassed. “I can take care of it mysel-“

“Not before stains set in you can’t. Go. Shoo.”

He left without more arguing, thankfully. He also behaved himself in the shower as opposed to just sitting and staring at the wall, doing nothing, but that probably had more to do with the fact that Mantis also had to use the bathroom in order to rinse things in the sink. (There was no curtain or divider, but they’d previously hung up a sheet for privacy anyway.) When Liquid came back to bed, Mantis had put a towel down. Liquid wrinkled his nose at it.

“You have no one to blame but yourself for not keeping hygiene products on hand,” Mantis said before Liquid could complain.

“I told you, this wasn’t supposed to happen anymore!”

“Eli, I honestly think that the fact that you have not had your period until now is because you’ve been so sick and stressed, and _not_ because you occasionally inject black market testosterone.”

"You always act like it's a useless scam, but I showed you my beard before!" Liquid reached for Mantis' hand and rubbed it over his chin. "Feel that? It's even more now!"

Exasperated as he was, Mantis still didn't have the the heart to remind Liquid that an actual beard consisted of more than just three stray hairs that were only marginally darker than the rest of his body hair.

What personal gain would he get from doing so anyway? Liquid was proud, happy almost.

"I'm not saying that what you're taking isn't real testosterone, nor that it won't bring any actual effects." He absentmindedly petted Liquid's jaw. "But I still think this - as any other medication, mind you - should be closely monitored by an actual MD."

Liquid huffed. "But y-"

"And not _me_. Or even worse, you."

“I know what I’m doing.”

“…aren’t you only taking testosterone? Not anything to curb your estrogen production?”

“What?”

“You realize the ‘R’ in ‘HRT’ stands for ‘replacement’, not ’Thunderdome’, don’t you? Your hormones are not supposed to be competing with each other. You are literally going to give yourself cancer at this rate.”

Liquid scowled, smacking his hand away. “As if I’m going to live long enough to care about cancer in the first place. I _am_ a career soldier, after all.”

It was tempting to call him out on being a proud career soldier who was scared of his own menstrual blood. Very tempting. Mantis didn’t. “You know I do not like that attitude, Eli.”

“Hmph.”

Liquid flopped over on the bed, thankfully laying on the towel, and turned his back to Mantis. Mantis sighed and gave him a pat on the back. “Tomorrow morning when the shops open we can go get your sanitary… things.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I am not going to bother fighting you on this, I will just go myself.” Liquid had always been self-conscious (to put it very generously) about buying ‘feminine’ products, even though for as long as Mantis had known him, at least, there was no way anyone at a store would ever be able to guess he was buying them for himself. It only got worse as he got older - he used to just shoplift them so he could leave as discreetly as possible, but after he was sixteen or so he started sending Mantis in for him.

“Hn.”

Liquid felt sick and very insecure - as annoying as he was being, Mantis did feel bad for him, and did want to comfort him. At least he was calmer now. Mantis gripped Liquid’s shoulder as reassuringly as he could; Liquid shied away.

He did not bother to try again and patiently waited until Liquid slowly relaxed next to him. His blanket had already been kicked to the floor during the earlier commotion and Mantis had no intention of picking it up, since Liquid was already radiating warmth like a space heater.

"You're okay..." he said more to himself than anyone else and carefully slung his right arm around the other's waist, pressing his hand palm flat against Liquid's abdomen gently.

Liquid made a small noise, reluctantly accepting the contact.

This was too familiar, too reminiscent of all those times during their teenage years - Eli being moody and clearly distressed over this one thing about his body that he could not control, while Mantis was left to pick up the quite literal mess after him.

The first time it had happened Mantis had been terrified, unaware of why Eli was suddenly bleeding and groaning in pain. He had panicked and had not been able to calm down until Eli finally managed to explain the cause of his ailment.

Naïve and scared as his prepubescent self had been, confusion quickly overtook as to why Eli was suffering from something that strictly "only girls got", as he had put it with a sour face.

Nowadays Mantis was not sure if the fourteen year old Eli had been so in denial about his physical biology that he had simply wished away any chance of ever reaching his menarche, but it seemed very likely considering his general ways of dealing with personal issues.

Mantis sighed - some things never changed - and moved a bit closer, slowly rubbing his hand over Liquid's stomach.

* * *

“You can’t keep demanding physical affection and then rejecting it once you get it, you know,” Mantis said.

“Nnn. Shut up.”

That was the upside of the Middle East: men holding hands in public (such as, for example, a drugstore-type shop) was completely normal and not at all regarded as anything other than platonic. Not that that stopped Liquid from periodically wigging out and snatching his hand away from Mantis because it had somehow, inexplicably, suddenly become ‘too intimate’.

“I can’t believe this place sells alcohol. I thought it was haram,” Liquid said, shoving his hands in his pockets and changing the subject.

“Not everyone in this country is Muslim, you realize that, don’t you?” Mantis said, picking up a bottle. Liquid raised an eyebrow at him. “If we get some things besides the pads and tampons, then it won’t look like we came here specifically for them.”

“That— that’s true,” Liquid said, looking around, then grabbing a random bag of candy.

“…though I would like to remind you that it just looks like we’re buying them for wives or daughters… not you.”

Liquid looked away, cheeks flushing. He self-consciously ground the ball of one foot against the floor, pressing his legs together; they had to hurry up and buy their crap and leave before Liquid bled through his pants.

What a mess this was. Why couldn’t Liquid realize that just because he was in denial didn’t mean that he didn’t have to prepare?

“Mantis, what are we?”

Taken aback, Mantis almost fucking dropped his bottle of arak.

"_What?_"

Liquid did not look up and simply stared at the array of chocolate bars lined up in front of him. "You hold my hand and— and we, y'know, when you did that-"

"Eli," Mantis hissed and grabbed a few of the bars, rustling their packaging loudly to cover up his irritated voice. "What on earth makes you think that this is the right place and time to discuss... _this?!_"

"It's not like anyone here speaks English." Liquid frowned and awkwardly shuffled towards the cosmetics and body hygiene aisle. "And I just- it's been on my mind, okay?"

"What do you even expect me to tell you?" Mantis stalked after him, fairly tempted to open up the booze before even having paid for it.

Ignoring him, Liquid, clearly embarrassed, grabbed a pack of tampons and inspected the packaging. "You think we can get painkillers too?"

Mantis huffed in disbelief. “Of course.”

* * *

Back at their crash pad, while Liquid busied himself in the bathroom, Mantis popped the cap off the arak and took a swig. Belatedly he realized it looked bad to drink straight out of the bottle and got out a glass like a normal person, just in time for Liquid to reemerge.

He must have seen how much of the arak was already missing but he didn’t comment on it.

“Give me some.”

“I don’t think that’s the best—- oh, nevermind.”

“…bleh. This tastes disgusting. Give me something else.”

“Eli…”

Mantis felt he had no choice but to capitulate and let Liquid have access to his emergency vodka supply. Again, Liquid didn’t comment. Too wrapped up in his own current misery to particularly notice Mantis’ troubled relationship with alcohol.

“Have you calmed down now, then?” Mantis said.

“What?” Liquid replied dumbly.

“You suddenly wanted to talk about our relationship.”

“…”

“If you want me to just chalk it up to you being erratic because your hormones are all—“

“I just want to know what I _am_ to you,” Liquid blurted out.

“You expect me to sum it up with a word?” Mantis said.

Liquid stared at him, then downed his glass of vodka. “This stuff is gross too. Don’t we have any juice or something?”

“Don’t change the subject, you started this.”

“Well? Do you have a word for it? Why are you staying with me, following me here even? Do you think I am that- incompetent?" Liquid's words seemed like nothing but a careless mumble, but it was clear to Mantis that he was merely testing the waters.

Not waiting for an answer, Liquid dug out the painkillers and swallowed way too many at once.

Mantis took another swig of arak and wiped his mouth.

"I am here because I care for you, I always have - you know that."

"..."

"Do you actually doubt my sincerity? Why would I lie to you about this—“

The sound of glass shattering interrupted him as Liquid smashed his glass to the table.

"What do you want from me then?! There's nothing I can give you in return!" Another handful of painkillers.

"Eli, this isn't a transaction! And that's enough, you're going to overdose at this rate." With a wave of his hand Mantis confiscated the pill bottle and motioned for Liquid to sit and calm down.

"Oh, like you're one to talk..." Liquid scoffed and pointed at the alcohol next to Mantis. "Do you really think I’m dumb enough not to realise what's going on?"

Fuck. "Eli, listen—“

Belatedly they both noticed the pain in Liquid's palm from the smashed glass, a few fine shards still embedded in his skin. He didn't do anything about it though, just stared in mild surprise at the line of blood creeping down his arm.

Almost automatically Mantis got up and took ahold of his wrist, sighing audibly as if that would do anything to make Liquid regret his actions. "Let me fix this,” he whispered while slowly pulling out the leftover shards from Liquid's hand.

It stung.

"What do you want from me?" Liquid said again, his voice hollow and very, very small.

Mantis felt like absolute shit. This was his fault, naturally, for taking advantage of their situation, of Liquid's - once again convincing the man that there was nothing to be gained for him if he didn’t pay the other person back somehow.

“I’m not some chaser, Eli.”

Liquid winced at Mantis putting it so bluntly. “What _are_ you, then?”

“Your friend.”

Liquid let out a laugh. It was not an amused one.

“What do you _want_ me to say?” Mantis snapped.

“Just be honest! If you’re here for my body-“

“I’m not—“

“—I don’t know why you _would_ be but if you _are_, what am I supposed to do about that? Turn you away? I might as well give up something that’s broken and worthless, no?”

“Eli, you’ve come a long way from-“

Liquid stood up abruptly, shoving the whole table. “If you want somebody else’s cast-offs, just say so!!”

“Jesus, Eli. And you wonder why I think you might _die_ if I left you alone again?”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?”

“Are you even listening to yourself??”

Liquid stormed off. Mantis stood up, unsure whether or not to follow him - and decided to just sit back down and finish his arak.

* * *

Despite Liquid’s complaints about the flavor - or maybe he’d just found something sweet to mix in after all - it seemed he’d gotten back into the vodka while Mantis was asleep. Without his mask and defenseless, Mantis could smell it on him when Liquid crashed his nap.

“Eli, you’re drunk,” Mantis pointed out as Liquid balled his fists into his shirt.

"You are too."

Mantis could not deny that, though his reaction to too much alcohol was vastly different from Liquid's; he just became really dazed and exhausted whereas Liquid started being even more irrational and impulsive than usual.

Liquid did not seem interested in more conversation, however, and busied himself bunching up Mantis' shirt far enough to expose his stomach.

"Eli— what are you doing-?" said Mantis groggily and uselessly tried to push Liquid off.

He paused. A hand was palming at the crotch of his pants insistently, adamantly, not giving away despite Mantis slightly panicked protests.

"Shut upp—-“ Liquid slurred. "Why can't you ever just fucking enjoy yourself, you've always been like this..."

Mantis was pretty sure that if Liquid would keep going one of them would end up hurt, badly.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Liquid rasped into his ear, upset amusement accompanying his words. "I know you touch me too—“

"Eli, _stop!_"

Finally Liquid sat back, hands to himself, and sniffed - wiped his face with the heel of one hand like he was about to cry. If he weren’t drunk Mantis would almost think he was putting on a bit to make Mantis feel sorry for him.

“Don’t you want me or not, Mantis?” Liquid said. “I’m tired of- of not understanding what’s going on between us.”

“I…”

“Can’t you just say it plainly? Do you want me or not? _I _want you… I think.”

“I’ve always wanted you,” Mantis admitted.

Instead of whatever the hell Mantis was expecting as a reaction to that, Liquid just burst into angry tears.

“!?”

Liquid stammered something utterly incoherent, hiding his face and doubling over perched on the edge of the bed. The only emotion that Mantis was able to pick up on was overwhelming nauseous fear. He trembled as Mantis reached out to him, tried to give him a comforting pet.

“I’m s-sorry,” Liquid said. “I don’t want- want to—“

“Eli…”

Liquid turned and grabbed Mantis around the middle, hiding his face against his chest. Mantis blinked, patting his back.

“You’re not damaged goods, Eli,” he said.

Liquid shook his head, wiping his face on his shirt. “I w-want to believe you. I want to be… I want things to be normal.”

“It takes time, Eli, that’s alright.”

“I want to b-be comfortable with you. I want to be able to feel s-safe while you’re… while you…”

“Oh… Eli-—”

He ran his hand through Liquid’s hair (it was growing out so nicely) and pulled Liquid closer, into his lap. With one arm around his waist, he-

Got flipped over.

“Um—“

Liquid's breath was hot against his neck and stank of alcohol, though Mantis really had no right to judge because at this point he himself smelled probably like a whole liquor store.

"I-I think about you— sometimes..."

_I know_, Mantis thought, but did not dare to say it out loud.

Liquid's hand sneaked under him again, this time sliding under the hem of his pants to which Mantis gave off an alarmed noise.

"Y'know I haven't touched you— hell, I haven't even seen you in years, Mantis." Too caught up by everything that was _wrong_ about this Mantis barely had the chance to concentrate on Liquid's hesitant stroking. "We used to do this a lot, remember? Ah, y-you liked it too, didn't you?"

_ No_. Mantis pressed the word into Liquid's head.

A nervous laugh followed by Liquid's hips bumping against his ass.

"Liar."

Oh, hell. What right did Mantis have to turn him down, anyway? He tried to just relax and take it. Liquid’s groping was clumsy and out of practice and he whined as he pressed himself against Mantis; Mantis wasn’t sure it was because he felt good or not.

“Eli-“ Mantis started, but Liquid cut him off with a growl and bit the back of his neck.

_You’re getting hard_, Liquid thought at him, _I can feel it_.

“Mnn…”

Liquid squeezed. Mantis yelped.

“Stop that!”

“What’s the matter?” Liquid slurred against his neck.

“I’m not— Eli, this is- disgusting, I can’t—“

“Oh, so - it’s d-_disgusting_ when it happens to _you_, is it?” Another bite, this one harder. Mantis groaned and seriously thought about turning around and pushing Liquid off. “But it’s fine when it happens to m-me?”

“That’s not what I meant—“

Liquid grabbed his hips and turned him over again, pinning him to the mattress; Mantis sometimes forgot how much of his strength Liquid had regained. He was still too skinny but didn’t have much trouble shoving Mantis around.

“What are you doing?”

He tugged at Mantis’ pants.

"Eli, I don't think this is a good idea..." Mantis mumbled breathlessly as he watched Liquid clumsily massaging him, biting his lip upon feeling cold air brush against his half-hearted erection.

"Don't treat me like an i-invalid! You think this is only fine if you're the one in charge, don't you?"

To be fair, Liquid was not entirely wrong; Mantis really strongly preferred to take over the dominant side of things if he was with him, anyway. Mostly for Liquid's fragile sanity and health. Maybe a little bit of that preference was to feed his own pride too, though, Mantis did not want to bother to think about it too much.

"You can go on as long as you don’t freak out on me, then."

Liquid stopped in his fumblings and looked up at Mantis with a surprised (albeit still tearstained) face. "Wait, _really?_"

Grateful for the lack of proper lighting that could have potentially exposed the slight blush creeping over his features, Mantis smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

Maybe he would have objected more strongly if he had been sober.

He was, however, piss drunk and still emotionally charged from his earlier admission. Later, he would probably hate himself for this, but right now he felt too warm and fuzzy too stop himself.

Liquid seemed to ponder on how to continue, still anxiously rubbing his crotch against Mantis' thigh in an attempt to relax a little.

He grabbed Mantis' dick again, and Mantis almost felt bad when he saw that slight flicker of disgust in Liquid's eyes upon closer inspection of his target.

Despite being incredibly aroused, almost unfairly so, Liquid still was clearly repulsed by the feel of an actual penis in his hand.

He could go crazy over the concept of dicks, there was no holding back there, really. But as soon as he was faced with the reality of one he stiffened up, probably unconsciously even, his body providing a bothersome little trick to prevent him from freaking out completely.

Mantis really did not want to, _should_ not push Liquid out of his comfort zone - but god his dick was aching and the hesitant press of Liquid's fingers and that slightly uneven breath on his sensitive skin was enough to completely reduce him to the well-hidden and despised creature of instinct he was after all.

Liquid's mind felt as if it was about to implode and Mantis sluggishly raised his head to remind him that he really did not have to do this—

But by the time he opened his mouth to speak, Liquid already trailed his tongue down the side of his dick, knuckles white as he gripped Mantis' hips anxiously to keep him still.

"Fuck- Eli!"

He barely had time to relish the sensation of _wet hot sloppy yes more_ before a sharp pain dragged him right out of his hazy pleasure and back into his bed, Liquid's teeth digging firmly into his swollen flesh.

Mantis almost passed the fuck out that very moment, but somehow still managed to nudge at Liquid's mind urgently enough to bring him back from whatever anxious flashback he was stuck on right now.

Finally the pressure eased and Mantis let out a low whine. He probably had liked this more than it was acceptable.

"A-- Ah, I'm sorry, oh god!" Liquid stammered and, in lack of better judgement squeezed Mantis' dick reassuringly, causing another pained yelp from the man.

"Enough—“ Mantis choked and managed to pull Liquid up far enough, away from the danger zone, shutting up any incoming complaints affectively by gracelessly smashing his mouth against Liquid's, holding the other's wrists to his side as to avoid any further... _accidents_.

Liquid seemed content for a moment, happy and comfortable almost - this sensation not being tainted by any bad experiences, all he could go by here was awkward but warm memories they had made together far too long ago, it seemed. If it hadn't been for the alcohol this would have almost been an exact recreation of their awkward teenage fumblings.

“I’m sorry,” Liquid whispered when Mantis finally let him go.

“Shush. Do not feel about it - it was just a little too much a little too soon, hmm?”

“Mm.” Liquid shook his head, hiding his face against Mantis’ neck. “…’m not done.”

“Ah.” Mantis patted the small of his back in a useless go-ahead gesture; Liquid had already started grinding against him again. “What are you going to do?”

“F-Fuck, Mantis, I need you inside me right n-now…”

“God, you’re drunk.”

"You keep saying that..." Liquid mumbled and tried to pull off his own pants - Mantis stopped him, exercising all the self control he had been left with in his drunken stupor.

"No, Eli- ah, that's a bad idea—“

"But I wanna-" Liquid whined and humped his leg as if for emphasis. "I want to feel you, Mantis — I’ve been wanting to for _so_ long…—“

Mantis grabbed Liquid's hips to calm his movement, painfully aware of his erection burning between his legs.

"I'll end up hurting you, you don't want that, Eli—-“

There Liquid went, palming and grabbing at his dick again - the uncoordinated roughness of his touch being more of a turn-on than Mantis would have liked to admit.

He swore.

“Come on, come on, come on,” Liquid repeated under his breath, finally kicking off his underwear and straddling Mantis’ lap, leaving maybe half an inch between his crotch and Mantis’ painfully hard cock. “C-Come on…”

_Is he psyching himself up…?_ Mantis thought, gripping Liquid’s thighs. “Eli, are you sure about this?”

“Of course I-I—“ Liquid covered his mouth with one hand, “nnh, I’m going to b-bleed all over you and make a m-mess, but…”

That should not have made Mantis’ dick even harder. Mantis tipped his head back, groaning. This was too much.

“Ah—“ Liquid stood up on his knees, positioning himself over Mantis’ erection. They weren’t _quite_ touching but they were so close Mantis could feel wet heat on the tip of his cock.

“Eli, wait, w-wait—! …don’t you still have a tampon in?”

“…f-fuck.”

While Mantis had thought that that had finally managed to stop Liquid from progressing with his frantic actions and thoughts, Liquid proved him wrong as he started fumbling around his crotch in search of the damn tampon string.

"Christ— stop that, you can't just take it out here..." Mantis mumbled uselessly and leaned over to grab the stained towel that was still bunched up next to his bed, and motioned for Liquid to get up so he could place it on the mattress. "You're a mess- we shouldn’t—“

"Shut up-!” Liquid grimaced and eventually let out a frustrated sob, still too tense and freaked out to handle himself.

Maybe Mantis should just had it left at that, but despite himself, _despite_ the situation and the state Liquid was in, the physical urge to put his dick somewhere warm and wet and tight was too much - he unceremoniously reached between Liquid's thighs to get out that damn thing himself.

“—-!“ Liquid let out a sound of discomfort at the first tug, overwhelmed with anxiety and the sensation of being touched _right there_, instincts taking over.

He clocked Mantis right in the face, the lack of control over his body not even having him hold back his strength, resulting in an ugly cracking sound.

It _stung_. There were stars in front of Mantis’ eyes and he was pretty sure he tasted blood on his tongue - a tooth having chipped or something — but he couldn't really bring himself to care because he was drunk and horny and desperate and if being hit in that state wasn't the most exciting thing he could think of-—

Liquid was curling up by his feet, hyperventilating, whispering about how he was sorry and bad and broken and useless.

"Ah, E-Eli—“ Mantis croaked and raised one hand to a calming gesture, the other still clutching his jaw.

“I’m, I’m sorry,” Liquid choked out.

“It is alright, I’m not hurt, you didn’t— it’s alright, Eli, you are alright.”

Liquid tensed as Mantis touched him, pulling him back up towards him, holding him tight against his chest; Liquid was trembling in his arms, flushed and radiating feverish heat. He shook his head. “I’m s-sorry. I just, I— I-I can’t… I…”

“Shh. This- was a bad idea. We shouldn’t do this right now.”

“But-—“

“You are not ready for it,” Mantis said, rubbing his jaw where Liquid hit him. The pain was starting to subside. (His dick still felt like it was about to snap off.) “And that is completely fine. This is too much, too soon — I am not going to force you and you shouldn’t force yourself.”

“But I need this,” Liquid said in a hoarse whisper, gripping Mantis’ wrists. “I… it hurts.”

Mantis sighed. “_How?_ I can’t even touch you.”

Liquid did not reply, just whined a little as he leaned against Mantis' shoulder, exhausted and sweaty, still clinging to his wrists desperately.

Not knowing what else to do, still too dazed by his own arousal to claim better judgement, Mantis slotted his thigh between Liquid's legs, pressing against his crotch and experimentally moving up against him.

That caused Liquid to go quiet, only the labored sound of his uneven breathing was left. "Aah—“

His grip on Mantis' wrists tightened; he was slowly starting to move with him until Mantis stopped entirely, leaving Liquid to hump his leg on his own.

"Alright?" Mantis mumbled quietly and brushed his hand through the mess of blonde underneath his chin.

Liquid excitedly nodded against his collarbone. "M-Mantis—“

Oh, well. Leeching off Liquid's pleasure was comfortable, sure, but Mantis needed _something_ on his own or else he would end up... embarrassing himself for sure.

Mantis reached around and - almost gingerly - palmed Liquid’s ass, squeezing as he noticed Liquid not protesting to it; he pushed himself forward, dick crushed against Liquid’s stomach, while Liquid kept bucking his hips against him — starting to get aggressive.

“Good boy,” Mantis pressed against the top of his head. Liquid moaned, stifling himself by digging his teeth into Mantis’ shoulder.

God, it was too much. It was way too fucking much. Mantis knew before it even happened that Liquid wasn’t going to like the feeling of semen on him but Mantis couldn’t stop it. He shuddered as he spilled against Liquid’s belly, already mumbling apologies.

“Nnh…” Liquid barely reacted. As hard as he’d been clinging to Mantis a moment ago, his grip was starting to relax and his head was lolling. It seemed a combination of alcohol and post-climax comedown was knocking him out in short order, leaving Mantis with a half-asleep man nestled up to his chest and a very conspicuous blood stain on his pant leg.

Mantis’ dick gave a tired twitch at that.

* * *

They didn’t talk about it in the morning. Not the day after either. Or the weeks passing as they eventually moved on to another place, another mission, another kill.

Mantis would have liked to pretend that that was it; they had slept with each other, alright. No strings attached. Liquid got off his period and eventually calmed down a little, as far as that was possible for him under the current circumstances.

But playing oblivious to Liquid's questioning, lingering stares was not an adequate solution either. Mantis knew that this was entirely on him, he had started it - had forced his best friend, the only person in the world that trusted him to get caught up in something so base and repulsive.

He just would have to deal with the stares and the touching and wet lips pressing against his throat at night when Liquid was absolutely convinced Mantis was asleep.

It served him right. It was his fault for-

"Hey, Mantis." Liquid said casually, out of nowhere, not looking up from the map he was currently studying. "Thanks for coming here with me. It means a lot."

Mantis stared at him, caught off guard.

He did not, and never would deserve this man's affection.


End file.
